I am nothing special. Just an average girl desiring to share how Jesus has taken this mess and turned it into something beautiful!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Day 1

I recently realized how deeply rooted my problem is.  About two weeks ago I decided to go on a diet.  Nothing new, just me doing what I do.  I wasn't even half way through the first day and I was angry that I couldn't eat what I wanted to eat and how much I wanted to eat.  Jeff had called to see how I was doing and by the end of the conversation I'm sure he wished he hadn't called...if you know what I mean!  That night Jeff was on his way home from a meeting and he called again.  He could tell by the way I answered the phone that it might be a long night.  He sweetly said, "You've done great today, why don't you just have one little sweet."  As I agreed with him my bad mood instantly turned into a good mood and it was at that moment that I knew I had a bigger problem than I had ever realized.  Joy, instantly, because I was going to shove some yummy sweet into my mouth.  I don't want food to bring me joy.  I want Jesus to bring me Joy.  He does, don't get me wrong, but food dictates my mood on most days.
Today I have been pleasantly surprised at how it has not affected my mood.  I am excited that I am not a grouch!  Maybe it's because I am doing this fast for the right reasons or maybe it's because my focus isn't on losing weight.  I don't know but I am joyful today!  I may not be in an hour...may not be tomorrow but I do know that when I am weak, He is strong!  I love it that Jesus can take me, a mess, and make the beautiful part of me, Jesus, shine!

So that's a little more background.  Thought I would share a blog that I found.  It has helped me to understand the Daniel Fast a little better and has recipes.  It is the Daniel Diet Fast Blog.  Anyway, today Zeke and I went to Wal-Mart to get what I needed.  So far I have had some fruit and I made some yummy salsa.  I found corn chips that have sea salt so I have munched on those with salsa.  I have to tell you that eating healthy has never been appealing to me.  Jeff will say, "I just want something healthy to eat.  We've been eating out too much."  Not me, when he says that my thoughts are, "Really, cuz I could go for a pizza for dinner."  My prayer through this fast is that my heart will change to want to be healthy.  To want to take care of the body God has given me.  Believe me when I say that has never been a concern of mine when it comes to food.  Just a little honesty!  My hope is that I will go from eating mostly junk and a little healthy to eating mostly healthy and a little junk.  I believe it's all good in moderation.

A beautiful mess!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Jennifer! I have to share.
    I just watched the video for week one of a Beth Moore Bible study I am doing online. I have done it before, but felt like I needed to be in a study and my friend Peggy in VA just started it so I decided to do it again. I remembered it was one of my favorites, but it has been years since I did it at Countryside. But this session was SO relevant to me. For years, I have felt that my eating habits and weight issues were not really a sin, just a personal problem. I have heard people refer to it as a sin, but I never felt that way. Well, God, has been opening my eyes to the fact that it is contrary to His will. This week's video hit me on the head!
    Oh my goodness....I have been getting it from EVERYWHERE! You know how God is. He really brings it to your attention. There were those 2 books I told you about that came to my attention at different times...one I heard about on KLove and the other I read about online. I am going to see if the library has them to borrow. And then yesterday I saw that you started your blog. And then this Bible Study among other things. I am hearing it from every direction! I am being convicted. And even still I want to go make me a strawberry shortcake. UGH! I am so horrible.
    I so wish you could watch this week's video! I can't say it the way Beth does. But she read out of Galations 5:16-18. She gave the meaning of the greek word used "epithymia" which signifies a desire for something in particular, a longing or inclination of the affections towards some specific object. There was more, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was making food my idol and what I desired when it should be HIM! I have been convicted. I have a feeling this study is going to be a life changer for me. I am going to go read about the Daniel fast. I have never fasted before really. Whenever I think about it, it is for the wrong reasons so I don't do it. Thanks for starting your blog, Jen! Will you email me your email address so I can email you rather than take up all your blog space? LOL
    angel2stampATyahooDOTcom {{hugs}}