The last five days have been full of temptations! We had a celebration at our house on Tuesday for Jeff. He completed his masters! Woo hoo!! So I, not realizing how hard it would be, wanted to throw him a party. Just a small quiet party with the six of us. He had an elders meeting so he didn't get home until 9:15. This gave us plenty of time to make a strawberry cake with a container of suger strawberries on top with a vanilla pudding, cool whip frosting. (I'm giving you details so you can understand what my taste buds were going through) For dinner we made his favorite which is chicken with a dijon mustard, ranch sauce all on a bed of angel hair pasta. To through something healthy in there I steamed brocolli (but made cheese to drizzle on top), and got his favorite drink which is cream soda! He was so excited and surprised. We sat down and I filled everyone's plate. Then I turned to my plate which had a banana and brocoli, with no cheese, on it. I was mad that I didn't have what they had. Was the celebration about the food? No, but that is how I work. If there isn't good food, it isn't a party. If we go to the movies and don't get popcorn and pop, we might as well just stay at home. I went to bed a little sad that night. Tonight was hard again because we had Eli's birthday party. Another yummy meal and another cake!
Even though it has been hard, I am not tempted to cheat. I am, however, tempted to be grumpy and ugly. I am tempted to get angry. I want to do this. I don't want to think food is the reason for every event. I want to continue to pray for deliverance that I know will come when I surrender this whole issue to Him. Still don't know what my plan is on day 22. I know He will show me!