Day 13

The last five days have been full of temptations!  We had a celebration at our house on Tuesday for Jeff.  He completed his masters!  Woo hoo!!  So I, not realizing how hard it would be, wanted to throw him a party.  Just a small quiet party with the six of us.  He had an elders meeting so he didn't get home until 9:15.  This gave us plenty of time to make a strawberry cake with a container of suger strawberries on top with a vanilla pudding, cool whip frosting. (I'm giving you details so you can understand what my taste buds were going through)  For dinner we made his favorite which is chicken with a dijon mustard, ranch sauce all on a bed of angel hair pasta.  To through something healthy in there I steamed brocolli (but made cheese to drizzle on top), and got his favorite drink which is cream soda!  He was so excited and surprised.  We sat down and I filled everyone's plate.  Then I turned to my plate which had a banana and brocoli, with no cheese, on it.  I was mad that I didn't have what they had.  Was the celebration about the food?  No, but that is how I work.  If there isn't good food, it isn't a party.  If we go to the movies and don't get popcorn and pop, we might as well just stay at home.  I went to bed a little sad that night.  Tonight was hard again because we had Eli's birthday party.  Another yummy meal and another cake!
Even though it has been hard, I am not tempted to cheat.  I am, however, tempted to be grumpy and ugly.  I am tempted to get angry.  I want  to do this.  I don't want to think food is the reason for every event.  I want to continue to pray for deliverance that I know will come when I surrender this whole issue to Him.  Still don't know what my plan is on day 22.  I know He will show me!